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As a freshman, you quickly realize that you have nothing figured out. You enter college thinking that acting like an adult will be easy, but are quickly knocked down when things aren’t as easy as they appear. Finding your place becomes much more difficult than expected. In my first few weeks at Baylor, I met plenty of people that I liked and connected with, yet there was one small aspect of community that I missed. I missed the feeling of a family, a home away from home. My parish back in Minnesota had always served this purpose for me, and I was nervous that I wouldn’t come close to finding that at Baylor. I thought I could never find my home here. St. Peter’s showed me that clearly I didn’t have that figured out either.

I signed up for New Student Retreat thinking that, if anything, it would be nice to decompress after the first month of school. From the minute I walked into St Peter’s, I could feel the joy that seemed to radiate off of every person. It seemed to be chaotic, but the kind of beautiful chaos typically experienced at large family holidays. I readied myself for what would be a very interesting weekend.

The weekend that followed became one of the most impactful times of my life. The first moment that stood out to me was meeting my table family. I may be a bit biased, but my table family was by far the best. From the start of the retreat, I was given people to turn to and talk to about whatever I needed. My “parents” were incredibly kind and made me feel as though I was part of an actual family. Throughout the weekend, each and every person I met made me feel welcome and at home at St. Peter’s. Whether it was someone simply introducing themselves or my table parents assuring me that they had been praying for me, I knew that I had found my home away from home. As a freshman, this is all that I wanted, a place to call home and people to call a family.

Not only was the retreat fun and joyful, but there was a clear devotion to prayer and faith. At every quiet moment, someone would ask if we could do a rosary or say another prayer. I saw a desire to constantly grow closer to God in each person at the retreat. Reconciliation was offered on Friday night, and people were eager to go. Most places I had been, eager would not be the word to describe peoples’ feelings about Reconciliation. Eager is the word I would use to describe much of what I saw. The people I met were eager to learn more about faith, eager to pray even more, eager to share what they experienced, and eager to devote themselves entirely to God. I was inspired, to say the least. I was compelled to draw closer to God and develop a deeper relationship. The weekend ended with affirmations. Half of us sat in a circle with our eyes closed as the others walked around the circle. Statements such as “someone who made you laugh,” “someone you saw Christ in,” and “someone who made you feel welcome,” were read as people tapped the shoulders of the people that had done such things for them. It was in those moments when I realized that someone had seen Christ in me that I sat in wonder. The people that had inspired me also saw Christ in me. I realized that my faith was visible, that in some way or another, I was imitating Christ. It is this realization that made me more passionate about being Catholic, and being very open about it.

Throughout the weekend, I found myself saying “thank you, God” each and every chance I could. I would look up at the beautiful night sky, and whisper, “thank you, God”. I looked at the Eucharist and thought, “thank you, God”. I saw the incredible, Christ-like people around me, and all I could think to say was “thank you, God”. I can never thank God enough for bringing the people of St. Peter’s into my life. The New Student Retreat was an unforgettable experience that has impacted my life far more than I could have ever hoped for. Each time I walk into St. Peter’s, I feel like I’ve returned home. I open the doors and see my family, loud and joyous as ever.

I have learned that I don’t have everything, or really anything figured out, but with St. Peter’s, I’ve seen that I have people that will help me figure it out, my family.

Emily is a Freshman from Savage, Minnesota studying Physics. Thanks for sharing Emily! 


I wasn’t quite sure what to expect on my first day of NSR. Up until the retreat, I had lived my faith openly and tried to attend as many Daily Masses as I could, but I still seemed to be lacking something in my faith experience. A Latin phrase comes to mind, now, when I reflect on my experience: ubi amor, ibi oculus. It translates to “The eyes see better when guided by love.”

Going into the retreat, my main concern was that I didn’t have many Catholic friends at Baylor. I have my friends from line camp and in my dorm, but I hadn’t found any devout Catholic friends to associate with. That’s not to say I haven’t met some wonderful Christians here—they’ve truly helped guide me into being a better person, and have definitely had my back these last two months at Baylor. But I still felt like I was missing something.

By the time we got to the retreat house, I had lightened up quite a bit. I figured “I’ve had a great time jamming out in the car here, I’m sure the other people here are just as cool.” And everyone definitely was—but I still didn’t feel like I was belonging to the community. There were a lot of upperclassmen there, and everyone seemed to know each other already. I decided to put this worry off to the side and concentrate more on my spiritual time there at the retreat.

The first talk came on about confession, and I tuned in to listen. I knew that it was something I needed. After listening to the talk, I wrote down some things going on in my heart and was one of the first people in line for confession. It was really a relief—I had confessed a few times before with Fr. Daniel, but it really felt this time that I was speaking with Jesus. I hadn’t even committed any nerve-wracking sins; I was more grateful that I had someone to talk to and who could understand some of my incessant worries that had been building up prior to the retreat. After absolution, I knew I needed some quiet time with Jesus and I sat outside in silent prayer on the porch for a while.

I remember looking at a great tree growing through the porch, and sitting in awe at the way God was working in my heart then. I knew I was going to make friends, but was that the really worry in my heart? I took out and held my rosary and prayed to Mary for comfort: “Mary, my little Mother, I know you’re guiding my heart and watching me. Thank you for simply being present with me, holding me, and drawing me ever closer to the Heart of Jesus. I trust in You.” In a much deeper state of peace now, I walked back into the praise and worship session with confidence.

It wasn’t even friends that I had been looking for, I finally discovered, at the retreat. I still made friends, but I more importantly discovered my deeper sense of self in Christ. The next few days were honestly a blur, but the most important memory I can think of is the affirmation session. At this time in the retreat, before the affirmations started, I was having a slight existential crisis. I kept worrying about the future, what my major was going to be, and that I wasn’t in high school anymore. After someone on the mic announced that it was time for us to close our eyes for affirmations, I thought “well alright I’ll just put these questions on the side.”

Even typing now I can still remember the joy I felt at knowing that I belonged, and that I had a Christ-like influence on others. I was genuinely surprised at the amount of people who tapped my shoulders for different affirmations. “[Tap] someone you prayed for… Someone you saw Christ in this weekend.”  I remember feeling the most taps for “someone you saw Christ in this weekend,” and my heart soared. People didn’t just know me. They saw Christ in me. I then realized that what I needed was a reality check. My deepest identity is not an honor student, a hard-worker, a nice-guy or anything else I tie to myself. My deepest identity is within Christ.

I needed the love of others to guide me closer to Christ. “The eyes see better when guided by love.”  Ubi amor, ibi oculus.

Jake Shanley is a freshman from The Woodlands, Texas.

Please forgive the editor for the title. She’s a sucker for a good alliteration.


A couple of weeks ago, with about 10 days notice, I got the incredible news that I was going to get to see Papa Frankie, the most adorable human on earth, address a joint session of Congress in Washington D.C.! I felt wholly blessed and unworthy to go, but I knew that I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Being there was absolutely surreal. Getting up at 2 AM to walk a couple of miles in D.C. (In business casual I might add) by 3 AM didn’t seem like much of a sacrifice, nor did waiting in dewy grass for several hours because WE WERE GOING TO SEE THE POPE!

The anticipation was almost palpable when the moment finally came for the Holy Father to speak to Congress. The hush of a previously lively crowd of thousands was astounding, but it didn’t last long. After what seemed like every sentence that came out of His Holiness’ mouth, there were roars of cheering and applause. I can only attribute what happened next to the Pope’s role as Vicar of Christ. I found myself holding back tears of joy and many around me had tears flowing silently. One woman held another woman, who was clearly a stranger, saying, “Yes! It’s him! It is our Holy Father!” Everyone was emotionally overwhelmed and it was clear that the entire crowd was won over and over again with each topic he spoke an undeniable truth about.

Now, I was happy and excited with everything he had to say, but when he was finished I was frankly a little disappointed he didn’t bring up abortion. He alluded to it, of course, which made some in the crowd hold back on cheers, but he never even said the word ‘abortion’. I don’t want to criticize Pope Francis, but what message was this sending to our nation? Then I realized; he was speaking to our nation.  This wasn’t a homily; he wasn’t in a room of Catholics or even God-fearing Christians for that matter, he was speaking to the representatives of a country that is just about as religiously diverse as it gets. People already know the church doesn’t approve of abortion, gay marriage, transsexualism etc. but they don’t realize or have forgotten the capacity of the Church’s love. People have started to see the Catholic Church as cold, unaccepting, and flat out bad because its social teaching is counter to that of our society. They’ve forgotten the church is good! It is one that believes in mercy. This message of goodness was the one Pope Francis chose to send.

During the papal visit to the United States, I heard a newscaster say several times that “Pope Francis was the most popular man in the world”.  This newscaster marveled at the crowds that the Holy Father could draw and at his ability to gain the respect and love of non-Catholics, and even non-Christians. His example of goodness and mercy allows for the doors to Christ to be opened wide sometimes, if I’m being honest, wider than I thought they could go, even to those actively working against Jesus’ teachings. It is specifically because of Pope Francis’ humble missionary spirit that hearts are being cared for, healed, and ultimately won for our Lord. Pope Francis wants to lead by example so it is only right that we follow and be excited show grace to everyone more readily. It is only by succeeding in this we can demonstrate that the Catholic Church is beautiful and it is good. I can definitely see how I can grow in this in my own life, so this was incredibly meaningful to me. Overall, I feel really fortunate that I was able to learn from the Holy Father and be in Washington at this historic moment.

Brianna is a Junior Speech Pathology Major from San Antonio, TX. 


Greetings fellow Knights, friends of St. Peter’s, and blog readers. It is your very favorite, friendly neighborhood Platypus Bear here to tell you all about the KoC college conference that Derek and I had the opportunity to attend this year.

I would like to start with a bit of the History of the Knights as many of you, like myself when I first joined may be a little hazy on what the Knights as an organization do. So way back in the late 1800s there was a man today known as Venerable Father Michael J. McGivney. Father McGivney’s story is nothing short of remarkable, but due to an unfortunate word limit I’ll give you all the gist: there were two very notable events in Father McGivney’s life that led him to found the Knights. the first being while he was in Seminary, his father passed away. With no Breadwinner for the family to sustain itself, Michael was forced to leave seminary to help his family until receiving a scholarship and being stationed at St. Mary’s in New Haven, Connecticut. Second, was the loss of the breadwinner of a family friend of his which led to the government threatening to take away the children of the mother who could not provide, Father Michael stepped in, became legal guardian of one of her boys, then the night of the court meeting called to order the first meeting of the Knights of Columbus. Father McGivney was tired of the struggles young Catholic families were put through when the father, unfortunately passed away so came the Knights, dedicated to providing for the widow and the orphan of their fellow Catholic brothers, Father McGivney founded this Fraternal organization, primarily as an insurance for these families, but also so that men could be sure, they could rely on their fellow Brother Knights to provide for their families should anything ever happen to them.


Fast forward a century and some change, and you have the Knights as we know them today. Rated one of the top five most ethical companies, with billions of dollars in support for the families of it’s many insurance members; it is no wonder the Knights are regarded as “The Strong Right Arm of the Church”. Derek and I got to see this first hand at the conference, and all the good work that each college has done. with over 200 College Councils Worldwide the growing involvement of young men is inspiring. I had the opportunity to talk to a few knight from different councils, hearing their struggles, especially those on secular campuses that are avidly against anything to do with the Faith, was something that merited my respect. Among these struggles there are Councils out there that still go out of their way to continue Father McGivney’s vision of defending the widow and orphan, Knights who volunteer at Retirement homes, take part in Pro-life discussions, help lead youth groups, volunteer at women’s shelters, and so many other things that make me proud to be a part of this order. Us as Baylor Council received a reward for our participation in the Special Olympics, we received the Youth Service Activity Reward for dedicating over 250 man hours to the Special Olympics.

Being recognized reminded me of the good we do as Knights and the good the Knights do worldwide. For the young gentlemen reading this that are not members of the order, I encourage you, seek out the next initiation, join our brotherhood and be a part of an organization that has done so much good for the Church. My fellow brother knights, I implore you attend this Conference the next chance you get, it was a serious eye opener to all the things that we do as Knights that you probably don’t even know of ! I am proud to be a Knight and proud to be a member of Baylor’s council 13577 VIVAT JESU!



About the Author:

Sam Esparza is a real life Platypus Bear, his hobbies include Jeopardy, smoking a pipe, making wild Platypus Bear Calls in the open, and making deep meaningful memories with his friends.


Luke is a Junior University Scholar from New Orleans, Louisiana. He is also Rector of the Awakening Retreat being held Spring of 2016. 


I arrived to Baylor a lonely and confused out-of-stater.  I decided to make the most out of my undergrad years so I campaigned for student government office and became involved in the honors college.  As I became more involved in Baylor, I found that an increasing amount of my time was spent in the niches that my friendships grew out of, leading to less time for my faith.  I quickly noticed an absence in my life.

Due to the dictatorship’s authority I was regularly dragged to Sunday mass throughout high school.  But in college I found myself faced with a new option: the freedom to simply not go to mass.  This option also happened to present itself at the peak of my skeptical bouts regarding the whole Christianity jig I had been surrounded by my whole life.  Fortunately I decided not to take my chances against God and stuck out the weekly Sunday ritual anyway, causing me to get plugged in at St. Peter’s just enough to discover something profound.  The more time I spent at St. Peter’s, the more clearly I saw something in the students (including graduate students and professors) that I found uncannily appealing.  I didn’t know how to explain it exactly but I wanted it.  There was one obvious common denominator between all these people: a serious devotion to their faith.  So after months on end plagued with a severe case of skepticism of all things spiritual, it was time to buckle in and figure out what the Christianity stuff was all about.

In an act of faith I put everything in God’s hands.  I turned to the sacraments, namely, daily mass and confession.  And with the help of great friends at St. Peter’s and some grace from God, I came to know Christ in a way wholly unprecedented.  St. Peter’s became the home for this new relationship, nourishing me with great community and the gift of the sacraments.  Since then, several of my friends, Jews and Gentiles alike, have at some point found themselves hanging with me at the Catholic Center for Saturday’s Latin mass, cramming for finals, eating unclaimed food, etc.

Of all the communities I have been in, I believe St. Peter’s is the “highest,” if you will.  Before making St. Peter’s my home I still had great friends in great communities, and I still have great friends in great communities.  However, the faith element – and since we are at Baylor, a place which offers many communities rooted in faith, I will also distinguish further by emphasizing the Eucharistic element – is entirely unique to this Christ-centered community.


Joesph is a junior music major from Irving, Texas. He is also VP of the Catholic Student Association. 


The manner of how an individual approaches college will dictate the education they receive. Yes, college is where students read their textbooks so that they can then cram for their exams the night before in order to receive their diploma. But if students were to only confine themselves in the ideology that college is simply to get a diploma, then they have trapped themselves in a less productive mind set. Many incoming freshmen believe that college is simply another step in life. That they go to college, study, graduate, then get a fiscally stable job. Though this belief is essential, it neglects a stronger purpose of attending a university.


As a devout Catholic I view college not only as opportune moment to receive a diploma, but also a rare chance to enhance one’s values, morals, and spirituality. Essentially, college is where people should go to develop their soul. The chance to allow oneself to be broken down to then be built up into a stronger and more rounded individual.


To strengthen one’s soul is unique to the individual, but does not lack the assistance of a strong community. The development of the soul needs a discipline faith in God. A Catholic’s faith is unique, and that being so, it takes time to discover what truly brings one closer to God. During this time of searching, one will endure a variety of emotions and experiences. One will experience joy, sadness, love, pain, hardship and temptations. While experiencing all these emotions and trials, this is where the need of a community is necessary. A community that is dedicated to helping someone grow closer to God. At Baylor University, I have found numerous communities as described, but the one community that means the most to me is the Catholic community at St. Peter’s Catholic Student Center.


At St. Peter’s I was and still am challenged by my peers to try numerous methods to grow in my faith in God. Parishioners at St. Peters have strengthen my values of the importance of family, assisting the needy, and giving back to my communities back home. They have challenged me to pray harder in my times in need, and they have always been at my side when I’m struggling with personal hardships.


My advice to incoming freshmen is to simply allow oneself to grow not only in the classroom, but to grow one’s character through the assistance of a loving community and faith in God.

WELCOME TO BAYLOR!!! Something you’ve doubtlessly heard about a jillion times, but there it is one more time!! I am so excited for you; you’re coming to an amazing school with ample opportunities. Freshman year is completely unique from all your other years. I absolutely loved mine. Made amazing friends, did fun things, had good teachers, really lived the full Baylor experience.
But at the end of that wonderful year, I wanted more. It wasn’t a crash and burn experience. I was going to Mass every Sunday and my fun consisted of things like Common Grounds, fro-yo, football games, running the line, climbing trees on campus and driving around Waco. It was great, but I found myself still experiencing a steady longing for something.
​ I think it’s at this point where things that are bad for you have room to come in to try to fill that longing for something. I was grounded enough to know who I was (not by my own merit but as a product of the way God made me and my environment growing up), and recognized the something I was longing for to be Christ.

​I’d known this for a while, but was really confused on why I felt so unfulfilled. I went to church every Sunday, was a good person, shouldn’t I be feeling some fulfillment from that? Maybe some, but not enough. I longed for infinitely more really deep down.

​All that to say: The advice I want to give you is what I learned that’s led to a fulfilling life, and I think the place where you are right now is a great place for you to hear it. In college you can become anyone you want to be, but if you don’t know who you are and who you want to be, you might wake up one day and be someone you’re not proud of. My advice is about some things that have helped me become who I was created to be and that will do the same for you. Practices that helped me make room for Christ to come in and pour the healing medicine of grace in my heart. There is tonnnssss more I would like to say to you, but this is THE most important!

1. Go to confession! Regularly! At least once a month. Confession is amazing and necessary if you want to grow as a person. Realizing your sins and feeling sorrow for them is where Christ comes in and pours in forgiveness and healing. It can be hard to get your butt to confession, but it’s the hardest things in life that bring about the most beauty. Confession is the single best example of that. You know that moment in Inside Out where the girl cries but it’s good and healing? Or in Insurgent when Tris has to tell everyone what she’s done and it about kills her because she hates herself for doing it, but saying it out loud helped her heal? That’s confession, but even better. Be brave and go. I promise you’ll be glad you did.

2. Go to mass! AT LEAST on Sundays. You’re gonna get real busy real fast this year. I don’t care who you are though, everyone has time to go to mass. I’d also venture to say that everyone has time to go to daily mass. 30 minutes out of your day is nothing, take it from a person who believed the opposite her freshman year, and who’s currently in a 2-year-in-1 graduate program. You have time! There’s often 50+ students at daily mass during the school year, and some of them have schedules you wouldn’t believe. They’re there because Jesus literally comes down from heaven and meets you in the Eucharist. To use an illustration from a favorite priest and speaker Fr. Schmitz, If someone told you Jesus was going to be a 10 minute walk from your dorm at 5:30, would you say “man, I’ve gotta study.”? No! You’d stop whatever you’re doing and be there waiting for Him. Guess what! Jesus is coming down from heaven everyday at 5:30 pm in the Eucharist, only a 10-minute-walk away from your dorm. See you there J

3. Pray. This is huge. Living a fulfilled life means loving and trusting Jesus Christ with your entire life. Cool, but how? You come to love and trust someone by getting to know them. You can’t trust or love someone you don’t know. You get to know someone by talking to them. Hence, prayer. Talk to Jesus. Let Him introduce Himself to you, lead you to trust and love Him with everything you are. He will if you let Him. This is a continual process. We don’t have full knowledge of Christ until heaven, which we’re working towards everyday, so He will gradually reveal more of Himself to you, which moves you to grow in trust and love. Set aside a specific time of your day to talk to Him, and hold yourself to that time every day! It’ll probably be hard to get in that habit, but don’t get discouraged! You were made for this. If you miss a day or 5, recommit and follow through. Tell Him about your day, about the things you’re desiring. Find you a good devotional and pray with that (ask Fr. Daniel or look at the books available at St. Peter’s. They’ll rock your world). Meeting, knowing, trusting and loving and being loved by Jesus in prayer is the most fulfilling thing in the world. But when it doesn’t feel like it, pray anyways, because He’s still there and you’re gonna grow in discipline and virtue for trusting in His presence.

4. Join a Bible Study! The more you’re learning about God’s love, and the more time you spend around people wanting to do the same, the more you’re going to want to fill yourself with His love. There are LOADS of Bible Studies at St. Peter’s and they’re phenomenal. Fill out a Bible Study interest form at St. Peter’s at Sunday Mass and respond to the person that contacts you. Don’t say you don’t have time, and if you don’t have time, make some because it’s that crucial! Be that person that goes to Bible Study every single week!

​That’s it! Pretty much everything else stems from these practices. And if it’s harder than you expected, good! You’re gonna grow so much from that. Draw your strength from Christ in the sacraments and be brave and generous with your time and heart. I have loads more to tell you about what the Lord has shown me after making a habit of the above things. Stay tuned 😉 Bottom line, nothing has fulfilled me but living in the love of the Lord, and the same is true for you. College is a place where a lot of people discover either that, or are deceived into getting only short little highs to fill a void, but result in making you emptier. Choose the first one or fall into the second. There’s not another option. I’m doing my best to grow in it every single day and it’s hard and messy and exciting and beautiful. I can’t wait to see you do the same. Take heart, Sic Em’ Bears, and have an awesome freshman year!


Julia is a graduate student studying Speech Pathology from Mount Pleasant, Texas.

Last week’s news was full of the devastating images of the Nepal earthquake, and you have probably heard Father Daniel mention Nepal in the intercessory prayers of the Mass. After having seen the news give reports on many disasters and tragedies over the years, I realize how hard it is to feel the weight of a event occurring on the other side of the globe, even one as cataclysmic as this. We might say a little prayer for them, thank God that we weren’t there, and move on with our lives. It is difficult to love what we do not know. For me, however, this latest cataclysm to cross my screen during the CNN Breaking News reel was different. Nepal was my home for sixteen years, and it been the home of three generations of my family. I was born in Kathmandu, the city whose destruction has inundated the news. I went on school field trips to Patan Durbar Square, where the temples that we marveled at are now little more than rubble. I passed by the iconic Dharahara Tower every weekend on the way to play soccer, which now looks like a great tree that has been cut to its stump.

I’ve spent the last week not quite sure what to do with myself. I have been busying texting and calling friends from Nepal that are now in the US, checking to see whether their families and friends are safe. We received word quite quickly that our uncle and aunt were safe, and that most of our expatriate friends had survived as well. My old school had a couple of walls cave in, but nobody in that area was injured. The same cannot be said for the rest of the city and the surrounding villages. We still have yet to hear from many of our good Nepali friends. My home has been reduced to panic and chaos, and here I am, in beautiful Waco, entering the final stretch of my undergraduate career. It is odd and confusing to know that I will never again see the place I called my home for so long. The city that I grew up to love is gone. Most of the old buildings are completely destroyed, and the infrastructure of the rest of the city has been badly damaged. At the present time the death toll is 7500, but my father tells me that it will be months before they will be able to survey the surrounding villages, where the majority of the damage, and deaths, will have happened. Already we know that entire villages, which many of us knew as popular stops along Himalayan trek routes, have been completely wiped out.

This is a loss with a weight that I feel helpless to convey fully. I cannot convey it any more than I was able to convey the loss of leaving Nepal when my family moved to the US. It can only be described as a sort of death. Yet this loss cannot be remotely comparable to the millions who have been affected in Nepal. Already, the news is filled with tragic stories of children orphaned and homes destroyed, and pictures of mangled bodies and bloodied bricks.

While the news begins to forget about Nepal, I ask you to continue to pray for the people there in whatever small way you can. Like I said at the beginning, it is hard to love what you do not know. For all of you, this event is utterly foreign (in fact, Nepal is literally on the other side of the world from Texas). I do not ask for heroic acts of compassion, but please remember Nepal in your prayers. Catholic Relief Services and Aid to the Church in Need are two major Catholic organizations that you can support that are responding to the needs in Nepal . Most dioceses in the US will be taking up special collections at a Mass sometime this month to aid in the recovery.

It is easy in these times to wonder what is His holy plan. Yet, I thank God that He does have a plan, in which He will “reconcile all things to Himself, whether things on earth, or things in heaven…” Let us remember those who are our brothers and sisters in Nepal, whether through the brotherhood of man, or the brotherhood of Christ. Let us ask for God to have mercy on them, to pour out His loving kindness upon them, and to fill them with His peace.

Zach Watters is a senior University Scholars major at Baylor who became Catholic in April of 2014. Read more about his upbringing in Nepal and the story of his journey to become Catholic.


I think one of the scariest questions a Catholic Christian ponders is the call to abandon all and follow Jesus more closely. When most people are asked their opinions on the consecrated, religious, eremitic life, etc., they immediately think of the “sacrifices” involved. The thought of giving up earthly things, like a spouse, children, parents, Louis Vuitton, or Ferrari’s, arises and quenches the beauty of emptying ourselves so that we can receive all Christ desires to give. However, the sacrifice is definitely worth it. The Saints tell us the beauty of following Christ closely. St. Anthony of Padua said that a man who abandons all may seem to be alone but that he is not alone because in Christ he has found his home, his repose and his peace.

I think one of the scariest questions a Catholic Christian ponders is the call to abandon all and follow Jesus more closely. When most people are asked their opinions on the consecrated, religious, eremitic life, etc., they immediately think of the “sacrifices” involved. The thought of giving up earthly things, like a spouse, children, parents, Louis Vuitton, or Ferrari’s, arises and quenches the beauty of emptying ourselves so that we can receive all Christ desires to give. However, the sacrifice is definitely worth it. The Saints tell us the beauty of following Christ closely. St. Anthony of Padua said that a man who abandons all may seem to be alone but that he is not alone because in Christ he has found his home, his repose and his peace.

My own discernment journey started towards the end of the fall semester of my freshman year in college, largely due to praying the Rosary daily. The more I prayed, the more I wanted to pray. The benefit of praying the Rosary daily was that I learned to listen to the yearnings of God’s Heart through the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I felt more peace than ever before and begged Our Lord that this peace may remain with me forever. I wanted to pray more and more because I derived boundless joy from spending more time with God and from doing the things that pleased Him. My time in prayer ignited a spark in my heart to surrender my will to Christ and to embrace all His marvelous graces. I was and still am a long way from making a commitment to become a priest, but I had been given a brief taste of the beauty of seeking God’ will and I consequently began searching for Him everywhere.

It was not until I transferred to Baylor and found Saint Peter’s that I finally found what my heart was searching for. I renewed my consecration to the Blessed Virgin Mary and begged her to lead me to her Son, and she did so instantly. My soul was immediately flooded with consolations and spiritual experiences, and I felt so drawn to the Eucharist that I had to be kicked out of the Chapel every night. Contrary to what one may think, my grades did not suffer at all. Rather, they improved dramatically and I had fantastic grades that semester, primarily because Christ was my life, and everything else fell into place when He was guiding me. I pursued Christ with all my strength, and while He gradually withdrew me from worldly pleasures, He showed me how perfect His Will is. He does not try to impose His “opinion” on us and then punish us when we do not comply. Rather, He knows the end from the beginning and knows what by path we may approach him best. He then patiently invites us to accept His will not simply because that is the best option for us but because we love Him. His calling may not necessarily be to the religious or consecrated life or even to the priesthood. He might be calling some of us to get married. We must, however, discern His will for us rather than make wrong assumptions so that our joy will be complete.

The most ideal model for us to have is the Blessed Virgin Mary. St. Louis de Montfort said that she is the easiest and most perfect way of approaching Our Lord. She is the earthly paradise of Jesus Christ, the new Adam, and it is in her that we may find the Lord. Furthermore, it is in her that we may truly find the unique and precious vocation that Our Lord calls us to and it is with her help that we can respond “Let it be done to me according to thy word” – Luke 1:38. Finally, there is nothing to fear because, as St. John Paul II said, we lose nothing when the reward we seek is Christ. Jesus, our One True Master, has shown us the way: a way of simplicity and self-surrender. Let us then follow Him, fearing nothing because He has conquered the world!

In 587 BC, the Temple of Solomon was destroyed by Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonians. The temple had been first described to Moses. King David had conquered Jerusalem and made the preparations for its construction. Solomon, the wisest of the kings, had completed it within the fleeting golden age of his reign. Its fame spread throughout the world, so that people from as far as Ethiopia came on pilgrimage, bringing back with them the faith of the Jews. King after king dishonored the temple, abusing its sacrifices and forgetting proper Jewish worship. Finally, the boy-king Josiah came to power. Holy and righteous, he reestablished the temple cult and preserved the Torah. He charged into battle against the Egyptians at Meggido, and at the age of 33 fell to their archers.

Every king that followed failed the nation, and the nation slipped back into its sins. The prophet Jeremiah, who had begun his ministry at the time of Josiah, cried out in vain for the repentance of the nation. Finally, Jerusalem was invaded and conquered. When they rose up again, they were again invaded. This time, the temple was destroyed.

Jeremiah, sitting among the rubble of the temple mount, saw the dejection of Israel. He had seen its height under Josiah, and now its total shame under the thumb of the Babylonians. According to legend, he cried out to God in five hymns of lamentation, which became the new liturgy performed on the Temple Mount: the book of Lamentations.

The book of Lamentations is almost entirely absent from the readings during Sunday and Daily Mass. The material is heart-wrenchingly and at times sickening. Jerusalem is compared to an abandoned adulterer, a betrayed friend, a hunted animal. Jeremiah eats gravel and is even forced to vomit. It is arguably one of the most painful books in scripture. Therefore, it is left out of the readings. There is one exception: the service of Tenebrae.

Tenebrae is a combination of the Offices of Matins and Lauds for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday of Holy Week. The Office is the set of prayers prayed every day by priests, religious, and many lay people, designed by the church to be prayed throughout the day. Matins is the early morning service (normally sung at 3 or 4 AM) that contains readings from throughout the Bible. The office of Lauds (6 AM), like the other offices, consists entirely of psalms and canticles. On these three days, Matins reads through the Lamentations of Jeremiah as an image for the sufferings of Christ. Over time, it became a tradition for lay people to come to monasteries, priories, and eventually churches to participate on one night of Holy Week in the prayers of the religious.

We too have lost our King at the young age of 33 to a shower of the Enemies’ arrows. We have seen the affliction and bitterness in the world around us. We have suffered under the unjust, and cried out to God because of it. The sufferings in Chapter 3 of Jeremiah “I am the man who has suffered under the rod of His wrath” is the central image that unites Christ’s sufferings with the sufferings of man. As Hebrews says, “But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, for the suffering of death, crowned with glory and honour: that, through the grace of God, he might taste death for all.”

As each reading is given, one of the candles on the hearse (a large triangular candelabra) are put out, and the lights are dimmed. We enter into the tomb with Christ, into “darkness without any light.” As the final lights turn off, and we are shrouded in darkness, a loud rumble begins. The congregation bangs and rattles the pews, as Christ in Hell breaks down the bars of Hell and rises victorious with all the faithful in His hands. The battle is not yet over, and there is no celebration. As a sign of the victory to be accomplished, one candle, still lit, is hidden behind the altar, like Christ in the tomb.

The service serves as a summary of all the Triduum to come, playing out the drama from Wednesday to Sunday’s vigil step by step. Its spirituality rests on the final verse of Lamentations, “restore us for Your sake O Lord, and we will be restored! Renew our days as of old! Or have You utterly forsaken us? Are you exceedingly angry with us?” To which God responds with a single Word, born, crucified, and risen.

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August 2017
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We had a great day helping the Class of 2021 #move2BU! Looking forward to meeting more of you tomorrow! St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us. Our new FOCUS team for the upcoming year. Keep all our Bears serving with @focuscatholic in your prayers while they continue their training.
pc: @briannacasias Happy Father's Day to our dear spiritual father, Fr. Daniel! We are so blessed!